Where does Spiritual conviction come from?

When I read Paul’s letters, his conviction for the gospel is very apparent.

He has devoted his life to following Christ and spreading the gospel.

Me on the other hand, I find it easy to feel more wishy washy about Christ’s mission.

If I sat down and reflected, I’d say that’s my goal. But it seems like there’s always other things on my plate that occupy my time.

That’s made me wonder where does Spiritual Conviction come from?

Is It Personality?

If we take a look at Paul, before his conversion he was also deeply convicted. But his convictions led him to oppose Christ.

After his Damascus road encounter, his conviction radically changed. It was always there, but no channeled to serving God instead of opposing him.

I read some of a book by Dr. Tony Evans, called Kingdom Man. In the book he always talked about he felt this deep conviction of his purpose and mission.

If I remember correctly, when he was 11 he’d stand on cars and preach to anyone passing.

His book was advocating for Kingdom living, but it was hard for me to relate because I’ve never really had that personality.

In fact I stopped reading his book because I didn’t feel like it spoke to my core problem, how to actually get that conviction.

The conviction that seems to come naturally to Paul and Tony Evans has evaded me.

Is It Manufactured?

Then there’s the “fake it till you make it” crowd.

I’ve tried this a lot. I’ve volunteered for things, led groups, had bible studies, but it’s felt manufactured.

I don’t want it to be fake. I genuinely desire to be on mission, but when I search for those feelings I come up empty handed.

I understand there are seasons of feelings, and ultimately our convictions shouldn’t come from our feelings. Feelings are fickle.

But it’s discouraging to watch years pass by and not a ton of progress be made.

What Did Jesus Advocate For?

Off the top of my head, I can’t remember specific instances where Jesus addressed this (let me know if you do).

I think being around Jesus, seeing his character, feeling loved by him, experiencing spiritual wholeness in his presence. These types of activities change people.

I think the outpouring of that relationship should be the foundation of our spiritual conviction.

This shouldn’t be something we do by ourselves. Jesus is big enough to work through personality issues.

After eating a wonderful meal, I’m delighted to tell everyone about it. I’m excited for someone else to experience the same culinary delight.

I think spiritual conviction works similarily. We should be such different people after Jesus that there’s a natural overflow from our lives.

And if we don’t have that, how do we get that?

I’m not sure, but will try to explore that topic at a later time.