As a parent of young kids, there are a lot of moments of frustration, disappointment and anger.
Something about having these immature young humans running around is stressful for me.
One of the things I’ve struggled with is how to handle that.
There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t like that. Doesn’t like the Morgan that gets angry and upset around my kids.
I know that’s immature. I know I should respond in grace and patience. But in those moments, that’s not what comes out of me.
Those moments leave me confused and with questions.
What to Do With Weakness?
In 2nd Corinthians, Paul talks about boosting in his weakness.
“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boost all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power my reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
This is not how I view my weakness. My weakness is something I want to escape from. Something to avoid.
I live in fear of my weakness. I’m fearful of becoming angry and disappointed to the point where neither my kids or wife like me.
I’m fearful of my home being so filled with conflict that I don’t want to be there anymore.
I’m fearful because I experienced that, and know that I’m not too far removed from it.
Hope
Trying to leave this on a positive note. This is my biggest struggle. Waking up everyday and being patient and joyful with my kids.
Jesus came for the lost, and that includes fathers who struggle with parenting.
A lot of days, I wish that reality looked differently for me. I wish I felt a different set of emotions, or wish the kids acted differently.
But that isn’t necessarily what he promises us. And thankfully, this isn’t a test where we have to understand how it all works or give all the right answers.
We are sheep, trying to follow the shepherd. And even if we can’t hear his voice, that doesn’t mean he’s not searching for us.